.. All other reports on the fun run are on pages two and three. The rest of the front page is taken up with the other happy people news from around the region during the weekend, births, weddings, and the like.The Finish LineI don’t run, I can’t with my bad knee, but I always get asked to take my van to the finish line so I can return a bunch of friends who do run back to the start line and their cars. I like to arrive early so I can park right beside the finish line. Most years I’m the first to arrive after the volunteers get there to set it up. This year I’m the second non-volunteer to arrive, and the person who beat me looks interesting.Setting up my folding chair I sit down on the right hand of the old lady in the large floppy hat and say, “Morning, Ma’am. It sure looks like a nice day for the run!”She turns her head to smile at me while saying, “It sure feels warm, and Sarah’s coat feels so warm after only a few minutes of lying here.” I grin while she rubs the head of the dog. Ma'am, are you asking me to fuck you?"She gives a demure smile, nodding her head slowly."Well, ma'am, first I have to cuff you, then we'll see about that other thing." I start pulling her. She resists.I'm not quite prepared to force her. I pause and look at her pointedly, wondering if the safe word is coming.She looks me in the eye and firmly says, "Cantaloupe." Okay, that is pointedly NOT our safe word, so I guess I'm approved for light use of force here? This is a little weird, but for her, I'll do it."Ma'am, you're resisting arrest. The penalties increase when you do that." Well, I guess you'll just have to cuff me ... fuck me ... twice. That is, if you're policeman enough." You're getting yourself in pretty deep, ma'am." You're the one who's going to get in - deep - officer."When we get into the bedroom, she says, "Hey, Officer Long, comma Dick. You're going to have to strip-search me."I start taking her clothes off. She's face down. "So are you a good cop or a bad cop?" Never.
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